Connect More Deeply
I recently gave a keynote speech entitled “Connect More Deeply” at the Hope International Forum in Atlanta, Georgia hosted by a non-profit called Operation Hope. U.S Secretary of Treasury Jack Lew, Chelsea Clinton and Andrew Young, one of Dr. Martin Luther King’s, Jr.’s lieutenants in the civil rights movement, were a few of the esteemed audio system.
Though I’ve given over 1,000 speeches or workshops in my speaking profession, this speech was completely different. The visceral response caught me off guard. I had a lady actually apologize to me after my speech as a result of she felt a few of her colleagues have been disrespecting me as a result of they weren’t absolutely listening to my message. I’ve hooked up my edited speech transcript right here. Could it enable you to join extra stone island constellation abstract t shirt deeply with one particular person in the present day. You aren’t alone.
All of us attend conferences for various causes. A few of us come to listen to the headlining audio system. Others maybe need to get away for just a Stone Island Shorts few days. Most of us, nonetheless, need to attach with somebody you wish to be taught from, work with or work for. Tonight I will share three issues we will all do to attach extra deeply with one another.
Earlier than I share these three issues, I first need to handle the 2 predominant the reason why we do not join extra deeply. It is as a result of we’re over-stimulated and hyper-related. The perpetrator, the rationale, the trigger is that this magical system referred to as a smartphone.
How many people have this morning routine
Earlier than we may even step out of our mattress and even open each eyes, we roll over to the facet, choose up our smartphones and start checking our textual content messages, emails, tweets and Fb likes and comments. All all through our day, from when we go away our home, to once we go to work, then lunch, then back to work, and eventually again house, we’re consistently checking our smartphones all all through the day.
An Android app firm named Locklet surveyed one hundred fifty,000 customers and found that the typical user checked their telephone 110 occasions through the day. Their excessive frequency customers, nevertheless, checked their telephone 900 occasions. [Audible gasps from the audience.] If there are an average of 16 waking hours that means these “excessive frequency users” checked their phones virtually 60 occasions per minute!
We’re not social media beings; we’re human beings. We’re not LinkedIn beings; we’re human beings. And as a lot as Mark Zuckerberg desires us to be Fb beings; we’re human beings.
Human beings join extra deeply by sharing tales with one another.
That is the primary lesson I’ll share with you.
Lesson 1: Share Your Story
Discover ways to share your story in a robust, passionate and poignant approach. Perhaps essentially the most inspiring story of all time is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He left such an indelible mark on my life that I named my firm KGL after him and two different visionaries. KGL stands for King, Gandhi, and Bruce Lee. I hold their ideals up day by day to remind myself of what to attempt towards with my purchasers, colleagues, and everybody I meet.
The rationale why his story is stone island constellation abstract t shirt inspiring is as a result of we will see our personal story in his life.
The primary time I ever visited Atlanta was in April of 2000. I did not know on the time that Atlanta is where Dr. King was born. I had an opportunity to go to his dwelling on Auburn Avenue, walked over to Ebenezer Baptist Church the place he was a pastor, and eventually ended up on the King Heart the place his tomb rests on prime of a stone island on this lovely reflection pool.
As I stood there in front of Dr. King’s tomb, I learn his epitaph, “Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929 – 1968 ‘Free eventually. Free eventually. Thank God Almighty I’m Free eventually.'” I felt such a deep connection at that second as a result of simply six weeks prior I had stop my day job at American Specific the place I labored at 40 Wall Avenue. I had put my condominium up for sale and I was leaving my family and mates behind in New York City to maneuver to California the place like Dr. King, I too had a dream. I wished to be a revealed writer, speaker, entrepreneur and singer-songwriter. I had a lot concern and doubt and insecurity. I was so afraid but, in some way, standing in front of Dr. King’s presence gave me such energy, conviction and energy. I used to be decided to succeed.
On Might 6, 2000, I received on a airplane and flew to San Francisco. 9 months later, I had completed and printed my first e-book, a faculty success information. A 12 months later, I moved all the way down to Los Angeles to be a singer-songwriter whereas concurrently constructing my enterprise as a speaker and marketing consultant.
Eight years later in 2008, I had an opportunity to return again to the South but this time to Tennessee. I knew that Dr. King met his physical demise in Memphis, Tennessee. So although I used to be in Nashville, Tennessee co-writing a music, I determined to drive the 218 miles by myself to see The King. I wasn’t going to go to Elvis Presley’s Graceland, I used to be going to go to the Lorraine Motel the place Dr. King met his bodily demise and that i additionally wished to go to the Charles Mason Temple Church the place Dr. King gave his final speech entitled “I have been to the Mountaintop” the day earlier than he handed away.
Once i arrived on the church at 2:30pm within the afternoon, the parking lot was not solely closed, nevertheless it was gated shut, with a series and pad lot, together with a safety guard sitting in her automotive contained in the parking lot. I walked as much as the gate and referred to as out to the safety guard. “Hello, I am out of city and that i simply drove three hours to get right here. Is that this the church the place Dr. King gave his final speech earlier than he died ” The safety guard regarded confused and unsure. So she took out her cellphone and known as somebody to ask. Moments later she stated, “Sorry, this is not the church.”
I could not imagine her phrases. I am virtually optimistic I had researched the proper church and since I had simply pushed 218 miles to see this church I used to be perplexed.
As I walked away from her, I determined to stroll alongside the aspect of the church to the entrance entrance. At one level, I seemed up in conjunction with the church wall and seen an enormous plague that learn, “This edifice is the positioning of the final handle of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.”
I had discovered the proper place. The safety guard simply didn’t know.
In 2000, I had a dream and that i stood at Dr. King’s tombstone not knowing how my path would prove. Then by 2008, I used to be dwelling my dream once i visited Memphis, Tennessee and after i sat within the sanctuary on the Charles Mason Temple Church I had an opportunity to thank and connect with Dr. King again.
Now eight years later, sixteen years after coming right here for the first time, I am right here talking to you all. Goals are potential. Desires are actual. You’ll be able to reside your goals.
The primary lesson to attach more deeply is to share your private and skilled story.
Lesson 2: Hear Extra Deeply
The second lesson I need to share is about listening. The Chinese language have a wonderful language. The Chinese language character for hear has 5 distinct components. On the left hand aspect, it’s the character for ears. However on the fitting hand aspect, it is damaged up into 4 characters which individually imply “you”, “eyes”, “one”, and “coronary heart.” Whenever you hear, you have to be specializing in one individual and you aren’t just listening along with your ears. You are additionally listening together with your eyes however most significantly together with your coronary heart.
Pay attention along with your coronary heart.
Lesson 3: Discover the commonest Denominators
The last lesson I will share is about easy math. Once we add two fractions collectively like 1/2 and 1/three you cannot add them collectively until you discover the most typical denominator. In this case, 6 is the commonest denominator. As soon as we discover a standard denominator, we are able to add 1/2 and 1/three collectively to equal 5/6.
Why will we as a individuals give attention to our variations and count on us to get alongside I simply flew into Atlanta a couple of hours ago after attending an event at the White Home. Sitting next to me throughout my flight was a girl named Carrell. If I centered on our variations there could be many: Carrell was white and I’m Asian. Carrell is from the South and that i stay in California. Carrell is a lady and I’m a man. Carrell is a retired psychologist and has been married 3 times. I’m nonetheless working and have by no means been married.
As a substitute of specializing in all these variations, we shared a lot in widespread. We each liked to journey, assist individuals, and share tales. She spoke about her journey to Italy final 12 months and I discussed how I used to be flying to Atlanta to present a keynote speech. We had such an awesome dialog as a result of though we had so many seemingly outward variations, we selected to give attention to our widespread denominators.
I would like to finish with one last story. After i attended the Clinton International Initiative Annual Assembly final yr in New York, former President Invoice Clinton had a closing plenary session the place he interviewed a NASA astronaut named Cady Coleman whereas concurrently Skype calling two astronauts – one American and one Russian – on the Worldwide House Station. When President Clinton requested Coleman about her expertise in house, she merely stated, “In house, when you are wanting down there aren’t any nations. It is one place and we’re all from there.”
To summarize, if you’d like to attach extra deeply, deal with sharing your private story in a robust and memorable way. Pay attention not simply together with your ears however together with your eyes and most importantly along with your coronary heart. And lastly, deal with discovering the commonest denominators whenever you need to connect with someone.
Lastly, please flip this off extra [holding up my smartphone] all through the day.
Christopher Kai is founder and CEO of KGL, a strategic-consulting firm that helps c-stage executives and sales professionals with private branding, disruptive marketing, and enterprise growth methods. He’s a company speaker, marketing consultant, and writer.
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