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Join Extra Deeply

I recently gave a keynote speech entitled “Connect Extra Deeply” at the Hope World Forum in Atlanta, Georgia hosted by a non-profit known as Operation Hope. U.S Secretary of Treasury Jack Lew, Chelsea Clinton and Andrew Young, considered one of Dr. Martin Luther King’s, Jr.’s lieutenants in the civil rights movement, were a few of the esteemed audio system.

Cotton Pique Polo Shirt In Dark BlueThough I’ve given over 1,000 speeches or workshops in my speaking career, this speech was different. The visceral response caught me off guard. I had a girl literally apologize to me after my speech because she felt some of her colleagues were disrespecting me because they weren’t fully listening to my message. I’ve attached my edited speech transcript here. May it assist you connect more deeply with one person at present. You are not alone.

We all attend conferences for different reasons. Some of us come to hear the headlining speakers. Others perhaps want to get away for a couple of days. Most of us, however, want to connect with someone you want to learn from, work with or work for. Tonight I’m going to share three things we can all do to connect more deeply with each other.

Before I share these three things, I first want to deal with the two important reasons why we do not join extra deeply. It’s as a result of we are over-stimulated and hyper-linked. The offender, the reason, the cause is this magical device called a smartphone.

How many people have this morning routine
Before we may even step out of our bed or even open each eyes, we roll over to the facet, pick up our smartphones and begin checking our text messages, emails, tweets and Facebook likes and comments. All throughout our day, from when we depart our dwelling, to when we go to work, then lunch, then again to work, and finally again residence, we’re continuously checking our smartphones all throughout the day.

An Android app company named Locklet surveyed 150,000 users and found that the average person checked their phone one hundred ten times during the day. Their excessive frequency users, however, checked their phone 900 times. [Audible gasps from the audience.] If there are a mean of 16 waking hours that means these “high frequency customers” checked their telephones almost 60 times per minute!

We’re not social media beings; we are human beings. We’re not LinkedIn beings; we are human beings. And as much as Mark Zuckerberg desires us to be Facebook beings; we are human beings.

Human beings connect more deeply by sharing stories with one another.
That’s the first lesson I’m going to share with you.

Lesson 1: Share Your Story
Learn how to share your story in a strong, passionate and poignant approach. Perhaps the most inspiring story of all time is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He left such an indelible mark on my life that I named my company KGL after him and two other visionaries. KGL stands for King, Gandhi, and Bruce Lee. I hold their ideals up every day to remind myself of what to strive toward with my purchasers, colleagues, and everyone I meet.

The reason why his story is inspiring is because we can see our own story in his life.
The primary time I ever visited Atlanta was in April of 2000. I did not know at the time that Atlanta is where Dr. King was born. I had a chance to go to his dwelling on Auburn Avenue, walked over to Ebenezer Baptist Church where he was a pastor, and finally ended up at the King Center where his tomb rests on prime of a stone island in this beautiful reflection pool.

As I stood there in entrance of Dr. King’s tomb, I learn his epitaph, “Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929 – 1968 ‘Free ultimately. Free eventually. Thank God Almighty I’m Free eventually.'” I felt such a deep connection at that moment because just six weeks prior I had quit my day job at American Specific the place I labored at 40 Wall Street. I had put my apartment up for sale and I was leaving my family and friends behind in New York City to move to California where like Dr. King, I too had a dream. I wanted to be a published writer, speaker, entrepreneur and singer-songwriter. I had a lot worry and doubt and insecurity. I used to be so afraid however, somehow, standing in front of Dr. King’s presence gave me such strength, conviction and power. I was determined to succeed.

On May 6, 2000, I got on a airplane and flew to San Francisco. 9 months later, I had completed and published my first guide, a school success information. A year later, I moved down to Los Angeles to be a singer-songwriter while simultaneously building my business as a speaker and consultant.

Eight years later in 2008, I had an opportunity to return again to the South but this time to Tennessee. I knew that Dr. King met his physical demise in Memphis, Tennessee. So though I was in Nashville, Tennessee co-writing a music, I decided to drive the 218 miles by myself to see The King. I wasn’t going to visit Elvis Presley’s Graceland, I was going to visit the Lorraine Motel the place Dr. King met his bodily demise and i also wished to visit the Charles Mason Temple Church where Dr. King gave his last speech entitled “I’ve been to the Mountaintop” the day before he passed away.

When i arrived at the church at 2:30pm in the afternoon, the parking lot was not only closed, nevertheless it was gated shut, with a chain and pad lot, together with a safety guard sitting in her car contained in the parking lot. I walked up to the gate and called out to the security guard. “Hi, I’m out of town and i just drove three hours to get here. Is this the church where Dr. King gave his final speech earlier than he died ” The safety guard seemed confused and unsure. So she took out her phone and called someone to ask. Moments later she said, “Sorry, this isn’t the church.”

I couldn’t believe her words. I’m almost optimistic I had researched the proper church and since I had simply pushed 218 miles to see this church I used to be perplexed.

As I walked away from her, I decided to walk along the side of the church to the front entrance. At one point, I appeared up at the side of the church wall and seen an enormous plague that learn, “This edifice is the positioning of the final tackle of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.”

I had found the right place. The security guard just didn’t know.
In 2000, I had a dream and that i stood at Dr. King’s tombstone not understanding how my path would prove. Then by 2008, I was living my dream when i visited Memphis, Tennessee and once i sat within the sanctuary on the Charles Mason Temple Church I had an opportunity to thank and join with Dr. King once more.

Now eight years later, 16 years after coming here for the first time, I am here speaking to you all. Dreams are possible. Dreams are real. You possibly can stay your goals.

The primary lesson to attach extra deeply is to share your private and skilled story.
Lesson 2: Pay attention Extra Deeply
The second lesson I want to share is about listening. The Chinese language have an exquisite language. The Chinese language character for pay attention has 5 distinct elements. On the left hand facet, it is the character for ears. However on the suitable hand side, it is broken up into 4 characters which individually mean “you”, “eyes”, “one”, and “coronary heart.” While you pay attention, you ought to be specializing in one particular person and you are not just listening together with your ears. You are also listening together with your eyes but chinese wholesalers designer clothes stone island most importantly together with your coronary heart.

Pay attention together with your coronary heart.
Lesson three: Discover the most typical Denominators
The last lesson I’m going to share is about simple math. When we add two fractions together like 1/2 and 1/three you can’t add them collectively until you discover the most typical denominator. On this case, 6 is the most typical denominator. As soon as we discover a typical denominator, we can add 1/2 and 1/3 together to equal 5/6.

Why do we as a people focus on our variations and expect us to get alongside I just flew into Atlanta a few hours ago after attending an occasion on the White Home. Sitting next to me during my flight was a woman named Carrell. If I focused on our differences there would be many: Carrell was white and I am Asian. Carrell is from the South and that i stay in California. Carrell is a woman and I’m a man. Carrell is a retired psychologist and has been married three times. I am nonetheless working and have never been married.

Instead of focusing on all these differences, we shared so much in common. We both beloved to travel, help people, and share tales. She spoke about her journey to Italy last year and I discussed how I used to be flying to Atlanta to give a keynote speech. We had such a fantastic conversation because even though we had so many seemingly outward differences, we chose to focus on our widespread denominators.

I would like to finish with one closing story. When i attended the Clinton Global Initiative Annual Meeting last year in New York, former President Bill Clinton had a closing plenary session the place he interviewed a NASA astronaut named Cady Coleman whereas concurrently Skype calling two astronauts – one American and one Russian – on the Worldwide House Station. When President Clinton asked Coleman about her experience in space, she simply said, “In space, when you’re looking down chinese wholesalers designer clothes stone island there are no nations. It is one place and we’re all from there.”

To summarize, in order for you to attach extra deeply, give attention to sharing your personal story in a powerful and memorable approach. Listen not just with your ears however together with your eyes and most significantly together with your coronary heart. And lastly, give attention to finding the most common denominators if you want to connect with someone.

Lastly, please turn this off extra [holding up my smartphone] throughout the day.
Thank you.
Christopher Kai is founder and CEO of KGL, a strategic-consulting agency that helps c-stage executives and gross sales professionals with private branding, disruptive advertising and marketing, and enterprise development strategies. He is a corporate speaker, advisor, and author.

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